And then... Nothing

23/09/26

It's been a few months since I wrote here or updated this place. And I got to say, time really does move fast.

Life has been kind of crazy lately, sadly not in a very positive way. Long story short, my father got health issues, my girlfriend lost a pet, my job got from bad to worse thanks to our newfound AI overlords.. and the project of moving in with said girlfriend turned from a positive goal to a nightmare of infinite visits and rejections. Yes, having two cats and a bunny is 3 pets too many to rent.

But here I am back at it. I'm once again trying to put some order in my life, shift my perspective towards positive goals and reclaim some of my time attention and creativity. I might have to generate AI slop against my intentions and values at work, and god knows how much it costs me, but I won't sit around crying about my fate instead of working towards (hopefully) better tomorrows.

I won't lie, its not easy to keep your head out of the water when so many things go south. Especially when the world as a whole is in such a concerning state. You really start to wonder what is left to enjoy, how to cope with all of it? Thankfully I have a wonderful partner and my lovely little purring machines. I don't think I could carry on without them, or without falling back into destructive habits. But I need something more and I'm back here to find that something.

I need the sparkle, the passion, the drive of creating. I need to build something meaningful, something I find beauty in, something that speaks for all the things I feel but cannot express. I too often let that side of me be silenced by the mundane, burried behind the chores and the crushing machine of society. But it is ultimately what keeps me alive, it is what I am. And I need to be.

Is it finally the one time I'll stick to it? Here goes nothing.